Making your life better today with the Best advice: YOU MUST READ!!!!

By Muyiwa

What is the best advice you've received?

3 years ago one of my ex-girlfriends cheated on me once. She apparently made out with a really handsome looking dude. I was filled with rage for a long, long time after that. I was torn though.

I felt so angry, yet I didn’t want to lose her.

I took solace in mostly seeking validation from all my guys . I would just drink with them and Yarn with them about the matter.they'd be like:

''you dae f*ck up, make we do her strong thing "

Guys being guys, they kept on ranting

“She’s a B**tch she ain’t worth it man.”

Stuff like that. I felt better listening to all of that. I thought it was perfectly normal for any guy to react that way.

And then one day, I told the story to a friend, who used to be my boss in school then.

He straight up replied me, “Well what she did was wrong, but it’s not a death sentence offence.”

Right there and then, for the first time after a while, I managed to cool down and stop feeling so pissed off.

So here’s the thing: I think that a lot of us operate by an extreme ‘all or nothing’ mentality. This is when we go all out to feel a certain way only just because something happened outside a certain way.

If we’re wronged, we feel all the anger we want just because we have the right to.

If we’re hurt, we cry non-stop because we have the right to be sad.

If we’re frustrated, we complain without letting up because the problem is still there.

I don’t want to be cliched and say that my friend taught me forgiveness. This is not about forgiveness to me.

This is about looking deep inside yourself and knowing that there’s a possibility of you thinking, feeling and doing something completely out of the ordinary.

You don’t NEED to feel a certain way just because others are doing the same or that the situation calls for it.

You can just feel something in-between instead you know?

And then from there, you call the shots. You can go ahead and forgive, run away, chill out or just forget about the whole thing.

What I was basically doing was judging my girlfriend then.

But I was also judging myself. I was sentencing all my emotions to depression, to extremes, which solved no problems.

so if you've been through this or presently going through one

Don’t judge yourself. You can do a lot better.

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