The
more you use all of them the more you will prosper.
1. Know
the answer to this question: What is the most powerful form of suggestion?
The answer: The question. IMPLICATION: Take the time and the considerable
mental effort to construct many or most of your suggestions so that they are
made in the form of a questions that the listener feels compelled to answer ~
and the correct answers are your suggestions. With both children and adults,
this “trick” very often works and you get the other person to believe that what
you wish done is the other person’s own idea. It’s harder with children, mostly
because adults don’t take the time not to give orders and to suggest instead,
in question form, an idea that allows the child to think through its actions
before reaching your conclusion, or a better one.
2. Learn
to show respect, particularly to your “enemies”. The concept of respect is
a psychological matter, not an ethical or moral one. Respect is learned early,
perhaps in the cradle, and in the beginning respect is a reaction and decision
based on both pleasurable and painful stimuli. After a while, children often
are taught behaviors and attitudes that amount to disrespect, like yelling,
hitting, and ignoring. The smartest ones soon “grow out” of these behaviors
and habitually show due respect to almost every living creature, and all of the
natural forces from the tides to gravity. The most important part of this trick
is never show disrespect to your adversaries, no matter how disrespectful and
vile they may seem to you, because that alone will beat you. Disrespect makes
one unprepared to win. Respect for reality wins.
3. Remember:
The opposite of love is not hate. It is loneliness. The difference is
immense. Hatefulness indicates a lack or an absence of love, which in this case
signifies an illusion that one is not alone. The opposite of hate in this
context is “understanding.”
4. When
you see anger, behind it is fear. Recognize the fear, eliminate it if you
can, and the anger is defused. This trick is hugely helpful if you can probe
tactfully enough to find out what the angry person is truly afraid of.
Sometimes this is revealed simply by asking the question, “What are you afraid
of?” If the person says, “Nothing,” take that to mean they are afraid mostly of
death.
5. Worry
is imagination wasted. The psychological state of “worry” is a major
impediment to clear and successful thinking. Worry is a future-focused vision
that the imagination can inflate into hopeless tragedy. It is not worth the
pain. If you are worried, your creative imagination is being put to lazy and
valueless effort. How do you stop worrying if it is a psychological habit? Good
question. There must be a hundred good answers. Mine is: Know the facts, be
prepared.
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